Euston we have a problem

Founder update:

Turns out that my quest to palm off this update to Will and Max failed and here I am again. Apparently, Will’s mates love the updates and so muggins here has now attached Chief of Content next to the titles of CEO and Chairman, but this is not the problem, and no, we are not launching a rocket to space from Huston (although it is probably easier than finding a non delayed Avanti West Coast train between London Euston and Manchester Piccadilly). The problem is we are currently trying to get to an investment pitch event in the middle of the country. I am so delayed I have written this paragraph a week ahead of when I am supposed to.

Shit, the train has now changed from platform 13 to 1, and of course, it has four minutes until doors close and the difference between platform 13 and 1 is a five-minute, fast-paced walk. Speaking of fast-paced walking, did you know that it is actually a sport? Speed Walking! You can’t bend the knee past a certain point and the only way to best describe the shape of the walk is to imagine you have a turtles head on a Sunday morning, after one too many Guinness from the night before [Grim, but funny] (Louise, I have also spell checked Guinness and I believe it has too nn’s, I mean to, or is it two :). 

Anyway, below is a picture to prove that I actually do work and not just sit at a desk eating monster munch. Must dash, I have three minutes to make the train. Time to change tense as I will pick this email up again next week no doubt, as I will forget to do it on my way home…..

Ah, hello again. As I mentioned above I am now picking up from last week, in a more dry, wholesome location. On the sofa with Nala my cocker spaniel sprawled out across the whole sofa, leaving me squeezed between her and the window. Anyway, where was I. So last week we pitched at the Britain’s Got Startup Northern regional investment pitch heats, and if I wasn’t nervous enough trying to remember all of my lines, I suddenly had to work out how to get to Manchester for a 1330 registration and a 1400 pitch. Lavely.

I was born in Canada (albeit relocated with parents back to the UK at three months old) and have been lucky enough to visit family in the winter months on numerous occasions, who are based 2 hours North of Toronto. 10ft of snow, -25 degrees, blizzards and snow drifts, and yet public transport still operates. The UK however sees a spot of rain, and a couple of fallen leaves and Bob is not your Uncle, the country is at a stand still. 

Also, £78 standard ticket one way and what do I get? Wet, late and poor customer service. Sort it out, whoever sorts it out.  

Anyway, four days on from the event and you will be pleased to know I made it on time to the pitch event and apparently we did such a good job, we were put through to the final on the 2nd November. Wait, sh*t, I wasn’t supposed to tell anyone we got through. It’s ok, no one reads this email anyway so, WOOOHOOOOOOOOOOO WE ARE IN THE FINAL BABY (which is further than the England rugby team got, ffs, so close. One bloody point. I actually wrote quite a bit about the England rugby team here in a positive light, but given that Will is reviewing the email with Louise, and they support Wales, they keep deleting it out of this draft. We got further than Wales.. BOOM. Quick press send before they change it again). Back to the serious stuff, and I am very proud of the team for this. We created a pitch deck in 12 hours, learned a 7-minute script in two days, and we did it, we got through to finals. 

This week we have been reviewing the feedback from the pitch and streamlining it to make sure that we are super, super clear in the final and take all of the judges feedback onboard from the semi-final, to ensure we do a good job in the final. There apparently will be a room full of investors at the final so let’s hope they too get excited about being able to wash their bits and bobs. 

On top of getting through to the finals of Britains Got Startups, this week has been a busy one and we have made some super progress. 

Investment 

Dubai is starting to bear fruit, and I like it! We had a whopper of a pledge this week… £50kkk. One person is going to put £50k into Bob and hopefully bring a load of his network and friends with him! We are buzzing with excitement and progress! And as Patrick Evra famously says on Instagram and Tik Tok, I love this game. 

We also secured some great pledges in the UK from friends and family too, taking us to a hopeful £90k of pledges since we returned from Dubai. My focus for next week is clear anyways: Get all the paperwork prepped with our legal counsel, John, and make sure we get all the money paid into Bob’s bank account. We’ve got a few bills to pay so we need to make sure we pay our partners and suppliers on time, as they are doing great work! 

Right, that's me done my updatey bit and my dog is farting next to me, so it must be time to let her out.

So over to you Will, what else have we been up to….

Bob Bar Soap

Well Mikey Bob, Boy, I still can’t find the soap. Seriously where the f&£k is the soap? 

The Bob Bar is stashed away in some warehouse, however taking the little wins, the Bob Bar did make it to the United Kingdom. We just don’t know where it is. I have contacted DHL through every route available… phone, email, Facebook, and have now tasked my fiancée, Jess, to activate Twitter (X). Let’s hope this soap arrives soon for both testing purposes and my sanity! How is it that soap is becoming more difficult than developing the world's most innovative soap dispensing product? 

Alas, Twitter (X) has worked! We have a new tracking number and an apology. Given that I am about to fly with my financée’s family to America, to join their annual family holiday, I have passed the baton over to Mike to bring home the goods (he always takes the glory, swoops in at the last minute, will pick up the soap and deliver it like a white night to beta boys in Dulwich, blaming me for losing the soap). 

Update: Mike has whatsapped me confirming that he has to pay £1 to transfer the order to our nearest Post Office, which is apparently on Clapham Road, and is able to collect the soap from Monday. Fantastic! See, I told you he will take all the glory. 

The Thingyymabob 

Some serious testing has been going on. We can now assess on a functionality level, how our product will measure up against the competition. By competition, I mean the way people tend to wash now, i.e. body wash, bars of soap, certain loafers for men etc. We can confidently say that our product will froth and lather more than any of what I have just listed, which excites the sh*t out of me and us. First test, and we (Beta) smashed it out of the park. Only problem? It wasn't our formulation. We have our bits and bobs crossed hoping that this formulation delivers the goods. 

Excitingly, I have just received another Whatsapp saying that Mike has just been to pick up our first rig that allows us to test the prototype in the shower. It’s apparently a bit sticky and Mike has been asked to keep it in sunlight to dry off the alcohol and to stiffen the silicon bristles, post 3D print. 

This has disaster written all over it. I can just imagine Mike right now with his arm hanging out of his one bedroom flat, trying to keep the product in the sunlight for the next two hours before trying it in the shower. I can also tell you he has no patience so will probably sack it off far too quickly, go straight for a shower, and then end up in A&E because he’s managed to get the prototype stuck to his bits and bobs. 

Apparently Harry, one of the Beta boys, also asked Mike to film himself washing for the first time. Mike is a confident chap so I am fully expecting him to openly share a full shower scene with all of our partners, without a care in the world. Harry may not quite realise that Mike takes everything literally and will absolutely deliver what you ask of him. We may have to rate this content +18 ongoing.

Either way, they say all PR is good PR, right Amelia? Amelia is Mike's wife who is a PR legend and runs one of the UK’s fastest growing FMCG PR firms, called Capture Communications. Amelia and I have been chatting lots about Bob’s approach to PR, but one thing Amelia and I are both terrified of, is Mike’s crazy ideas mixed with his ability to just go ahead and do - without any concern or thought into what might go wrong at times! Mike sharing the first test video on LinkedIn, naked, already has Amelia and I drafting a crisis comms press kit for Bob. 

Mike, don’t do it! 

We have a new partner in town. 

Already Bob has the pleasure of working with some excellent partners, including Beta and Kappus. Now we can add one more to our armoury, Crowd Academy. Crowd Academy are a group of top gentlemen that through their own successful experience of setting up start-ups, have become very good at launching new products to market, through exceptional Kickstarter campaigns. To date they have raised over $600,000 in sales via Kickstarter. (Don’t know what Kickstarter is? Check it out here, but for those who cannot be arsed to open the link, they are essentially a platform to launch new products to market by giving a community early access to buy things at a massive discount). 

Cheers to Crowd Academy and cheers to Bob - more updates on this to come very, very soon.

In summary, what a great week Bob. 

——

So on that note, and whilst we work out how to pay Crowd Academy before securing investment, why not help us to grow our Bob community by joining our waiting List.